On Opportunities During a Pandemic: When to Say No
Writer: Jewel Camacho
Generation Z-ers are referred to by some as the “loneliest generation” because they are on the cusp of adulthood while facing an uncertain future. Fresh college graduates who have no work and even undergraduates are experiencing so much stress due to their career plans being compromised because of COVID-19. There is so much societal pressure, and even those of which come from our family and ourselves, to keep up with what is deemed the “normal” pace or journey towards life’s goals.
In any job interview, an applicant’s educational and professional timeline is assessed. “When did you finish high school and college? Any honors, extracurriculars? What did you do right after graduating? Masters? Internship? Work? How come there is a 1-year gap in your resumé?”.
The last question is asked when the interviewer notices the lack of continuity in one’s timeline. “Is it because of sickness? Perhaps, a pregnancy or some family problem? Lack of motivation? Will she be asking for more flexibility? Is she not committed?”. The reason may vary per individual, but one thing’s for sure: from 2019 to the present (2021), everyone was under the COVID-19 pandemic. So, possibly, the coronavirus gap might just be the common mark in every jobseeker’s file later on.
Hofstede's Insights pinpoints the deep drivers of culture that affect workplace values through the lens of the 6-D Model. According to their Dimension Paradigm, the Philippines is a hierarchical society. This means that most structures have centralized systems, promoting inequality. With the horrors of appearing stagnant, and the threat of an empty curriculum vitae (CV) or resumé, people are pressured to take on whatever it is that they need to so as to keep the edge— to be productive whilst quarantined.
Therefore, should opportunities even be let go of if the stakes are too high?
Saying “NO”
Looking back on more than a year’s worth of lockdowns, it feels like everyone emerged happier, fitter, more creative (from passion projects), and more experienced (from internships)— except for ourselves. Some of us have taken advantage of all the free time and have developed ourselves meaningfully. Others, however, may not be as fortunate. And that’s okay! We need to understand that we’re in a pandemic. However, it is important to set the context . Racheal Cook, a productivity expert, says “We are going through a collective trauma experience”. She adds that it is difficult to navigate these “huge emotional hurdles” as there is an uncertainty most people have never even experienced in their lifetime.
While the course of life seems to be so fast-paced and competitive (even amidst a pandemic), there are many reasons why people would want to think of saying no to career opportunities. Here are some examples:
When the opportunity is not aligned with their long-time (and even short-term) goals.
When their values are not the same as the company or organization’s.
When they know that they can’t deliver results.
When they know that there isn’t enough room for personal and professional growth for them.
When their gut says no.
Why it’s important to say “NO”
Dr. Nicole Washington, a board-certified psychiatrist and the chief medical officer of Elocin Psychiatric Services, pointed out that "saying no is one of the best forms of self-care we can engage in." Saying no supports us in creating space in our schedules to rest and recharge, engaging in activities that actually align with our current goals, and setting boundaries with loved ones and colleagues.
Saying “no” has its benefits but it’s also important to realize that it’s challenging for many. In a 2016 research review, social psychologist Dr. Vanessa K. Bohns said that many people agree to things to avoid the considerable discomfort of saying the two-letter word.
Psychotherapist Dana Dorfman says, “there’s no ‘right way’ [to get through this], other than allowing yourself to be your own way”. She adds that once there is respect and acceptance of the range of coping styles, there will be less judgement of one’s self and others.
There are many ways to cope and here are some things you can do:
Identify 3 things you are grateful for.
You can be grateful for simply waking up today! You can boost your appreciation of the little things through the practice of gratitude.
Reach out to a friend or family member, and catch-up.
Instead of keeping your emotions to yourself, reach out to a friend or family member. They may help you process the emotions and thoughts you have.
Take a walk
Not only does walking strengthen the heart and body, it stimulates relaxation and improves our mood too!
Listen to a podcast
If you’re looking for a way to bring more calm into your life, give a listen! You can check out +1 with Positive Workplaces for casual yet informative discussions on Filipino work experiences during the pandemic.
Not too bad, right? These simple tasks may help ground you by offering an alternative to the more taxing tasks usually deemed “productive”, like new hobbies and other projects. Say yes to the opportunities that will give you strength, knowledge, peace, assurance, and energy. Others that don’t quite fit into the category can wait, trust me. Here are some things to bare in mind while reflecting:
You are not a machine whose self-worth is based on outputs
The work-from-home (WFH) set-up is not for everyone. Not all homes are conducive for learning or work, and technology may be unreliable
Isolation is psychologically taxing
Life is much more than checking off boxes on a to-do list.
Self-care is inherently productive
Conclusion
Some things are best for you, and others are simply not meant to be. Whatever the case, remember that there will always be a time and place for everything, and multiple pathways for them. It is quite tempting to exhaust yourself and say yes to everything. However, in the process of doing so, you might lose yourself.
Don't look too far into the future that you forget to live in the present. Here’s to you!
References
Carino, M. (2021). With COVID gaps on millions of resumes, do they still carry stigma?.
Marketplace. Retrieved from https://www.marketplace.org/2021/07/08/with-covid-gaps-on-millions-of-resumes-does-it-still-carry-stigma/
Casey, A.E. (2021). What are the core characteristics of generation z?. The Anne E. Casey Foundation. Retrieved from https://www.aecf.org/blog/what-are-the-core-characteristics-of-generation-z
Doyle, P. (2021). It’s okay to have had an unproductive year in quarantine. The Daily Aztec.
Retrieved from https://thedailyaztec.com/104831/opinion/its-okay-to-have-had-an-unproductive-year-in-quarantine/
Fitzgerald, S. (2020). Don’t feel like ‘getting things done’? It’s okay not to be productive
during a pandemic. The Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/productivity-coronavirus-pandemic-projects/2020/04/06/742edf54-76e4-11ea-85cb-8670579b863d_story.html
Gross, E. (2016). When to say no at work (and why it's important).
Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/elanagross/2016/09/19/when-to-say-no-at-work/?sh=7f03e8e51322
Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture’s consequences: Comparing values, behaviors, institutions,
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Long, A. (n.d.). Why It’s Okay to be Unproductive During a Global Pandemic. The Bottomline.
Retrieved from https://thebottomline.as.ucsb.edu/2020/05/op-2-why-its-okay-to-be-unproductive-during-a-global-pandemic
McKeever, V. (2021). You’re not lazy — Why you need to stop feeling guilty in
lockdown, according to an expert. Make It. Retrieved from https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/11/heres-why-you-can-stop-feeling-guilty-about-laziness-in-lockdown.html
Tartakovsky, M. (2021). How and when to say no. PsychCentral. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/learning-to-say-no#why-its-hard
