How I Handled My Mother’s Presidential Bet? I let it go.
By Kiara Rodriguez
“Sinong Presidente mo?” This is a question we often hear with the 2022 general elections looming over our heads. In my case, this was the topic of conversation over a Monday lunch at home. I was taken aback because ironically as a political science student who often discusses the upcoming elections, we don’t often talk about it on a personal level. We recognize that it is to each his own candidate which allows us to engage in healthy discussions on relevant issues.
However, this is not always the case. Politics can often be a stress point in any relationship especially when parties are of conflicting opinions. The elections only raise the stakes as candidates represent particular stances on issues like Covid-19 response, corruption, crime, and gender equality among other things. This can bring forth heated arguments which negatively affect the people involved. After all, relationships are fundamental to our individual well being as mentioned in the PERMA-V framework. Given that conflicting opinions cannot be avoided, how do we reconcile maintaining our relationships with differences in opinion? We don’t let the conflict take control of our relationship.
Though undecided, my mother and I are already leaning towards particular presidential candidates. She’s for a controversial candidate whereas I am partial to their political rival. I personally don’t think it affected our relationship all that much because when she first declared her stance, my initial reaction was to ask why. I genuinely wanted to know her reasons for supporting that candidate and understand where she was coming from. Doing so necessitated an openness to and a respect for her opinion which is an important factor to overcoming such conflict. In turn, I explained to her why I’m against her chosen candidate. We were able to calmly air our sides because we did not let emotions or prejudice overcome the respect we have for each other.
I understand that not every case is like this. There are some political stances that are non-negotiable. For me, one is gender equality. My mother and I would have had a very different conversation had she said that she was supporting a candidate who is openly against LGBTQA+ rights. Luckily enough, she wasn’t. Still, it’s important to identify what you cannot compromise because you will be able to keep an open mind to conflicting opinions on other matters.
I still don’t agree with her choice but I recognize where she’s coming from and I understand why she thinks that way. I tried to let her see it from my perspective and left it at that. Was I giving up ? No. I already informed her of alternate viewpoints and to do much more is to impose my opinions on her. This would infringe on her right to her own opinions which can strain our relationship. Leaving it at that allowed her to ponder on my points’ implications on her stand as hers led me to question and ultimately better inform my own. I struggle with her choice but at the end of the day, it’s hers to make and so to us, the difference in presidential bets is a non-issue.
A question that helped me come to terms with this was asking, “Does my political stance on the elections outweigh my relationship with my mother?” In my case, it doesn’t. I don’t let the difference escalate into conflict by respecting each other’s opinions. I think at the end of the day this is what it boils down to. We may all have differing opinions on difficult topics, but sometimes the relationships we have allow us to agree to disagree. Even in the midst of conflicting opinions, the respect we have for one another still stands.
How about you? How do you balance your relationships and well-being?
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